Why am I so unmotivated lately? School, friends, fitness. I need a spark.

Resolution: build up own self esteem. Will include putting more time into appearance, practicing public speaking, getting my ass back to boot camp, and getting a consultation for Invisalign.

Lets see whats new.

Finished up another semester at OUHSC COP! One more semester of in class crap and then a year of rotations and I’m done with school. Scary to think about. Scary to think I’ll be in charge of managing people’s meds..hopefully some of what I learned will have stuck ;)

Decided to not pursue a clinical residency. So far I think its a good decision..certainly makes school work much less stressful, however my professors are still under the impression that I am still going ahead with trying to get a residency after graduation..I don’t know when is a good time to tell them that in my perfect world I would spend the extra 2 years on top of the 7 that getting my PharmD has required, but no thanks. IF I could ultimately control the end environment I would be working in as a clinical pharmacist, then I definitely would not hesitate about putting in the extra two years as a resident. But obviously I can’t and I’m not about to put that extra time in when I potentially could not use my clinical training.

Females suck. I don’t understand how people could so candidly (NOT) blow you off and expect you not to notice. Remember, we played the same game not too long ago with another female acquaintance so how idiotic do you expect me to be to not recognize what you’re doing? Whatever. In my mind I have no idea what I have done that was so horrible and lead to this and I guess I never will. Things happen for a reason and I definitely learned that this semester. 

One of my best friends got married back in November.  Very surreal and so glad I got to be a part of her special day. And my other best friend is getting married next August—craziness. Back to the first best friend that got married, well she’s moving in a week to North Carolina. For 3 years. The closer it gets the more sad I get. This past year I have really started to learn about what true friendship means to me. I’ve always been the people pleaser type and I always want to be friends with everyone. I learned that its not possible nor is it important. I’ve had the same small group of friends since high school—-those who after going a couple of months without talking because life gets in the way, I know I can still go to if I have any problems. Those people who have always and will always be there for me when I need them and when its most important. I guess I’ve just come to the realization that I’m never going to have a million best friends and its okay. And as we get older its also okay to not spend every waking moment with someone and still be able to call them your best friend when you talk to them several months later and they tell you they are getting married! 

Samantha has been back since the beginning of October and its been awesome! My family loves her and I love the relationship I have with her. Silly that I’m talking about a little yorkie this way, but I don’t care! My family are now very much dog people and its sorta strange but I like it.

Paul and I just celebrated our 6 year anniversary. People always always always tell me that we’re too different for the relationship to work or that I don’t ever seem to get too excited when talking about him, like I did my past boyfriends. The fact is that he’s been a part of my life for so long that I honestly could not imagine what it would be like without him (cheesy cheesy high school flashbacks) and things with us have always been so stable that when people ask how we’re doing, I don’t really have much of a response because we really are doing pretty much the same as the last time you asked and to me that’s not a bad thing. He keeps me together and he’s there for me when my girlfriends can’t be. One of my new year’s resolutions is to be more appreciative towards him and use him less as my punching bag when I’m having a bad day. =P -.-

What else..going to Vegas in January with a bunch of friends (first time without my family! Should be interesting) and have had a ball shopping for the clothes I plan on bringing! I’m obsessed with pinterest at the moment. And I’ve also been avidly playing Bakery Story and Restaurant Story on my phone. 


Very random post, but that’s what’s been going on in my part of the world. There are probably a bunch of grammatical errors and run on sentences so please forgive me. Time to get ready for the day..Paul and I have much Christmas shopping to do! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I wanted that puppy so so so bad. But my family members didn’t. I needed help to raise that dog, particularly because I can’t be home all the time to let the dog do her business and get the attention she needs. I am just sad. Very sad, shes going to be happier with my boyfriends family because I don’t think my family understood the things that come with a yorkie puppy or maybe they did and they just didn’t want to help me. Idk. All I know is that they thought it was going to be okay to leave a puppy in its kennel for 6 hours and expect it not to make a mess. They expected it to be able to roam the house unsupervised and not make a mess. We just weren’t on the same page and I didn’t want a rotten dog as a result of poor training. I really think she would’ve became a great member of our family if only they had been truly willing to help train her. I think that is what makes me most sad.

I feel unusually down today. I think I see a massage in my near future. People suck. One of these days I’ll write a long thought out blog; till then a twitter like post is what you’ll get. Sorry peeps.

Scion is officially totaled. Father is frantically trying to look for another car. Sad day. Must study. With the way our country is going, I’m sure ischemic heart disease and peripheral vascular disease is going to be anything but a slight problem.

Maybe my luck has changed —- a red 2006 VW beetle convertible is MINE! :)